I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize