i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
