Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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