you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
my phone needs a breathalizer
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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