are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize