Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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