Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
