Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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