I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
