my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
