Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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