it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
