Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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