How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
