It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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