I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize