So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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