I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
