He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
