I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Quick, to the slutcave!
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
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