I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
