That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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