You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
