; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
