but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
