Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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