we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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