I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
