I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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