I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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