he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
