I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
