I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
