just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
