what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I did not marry a roomba.
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