Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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