he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
