pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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