I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
