either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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