I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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