that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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