Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
