Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
