Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
