dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
