I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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