Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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