please come you make the beer taste better
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
