I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Randomize
