im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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