awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
