I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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