he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
