If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
