You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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