I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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