we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
you never un-have a 4some
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
