I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
