He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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