Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
